facebook Share on Facebook He's 18, my boyfriend is 17, and I'm turning 16 next week. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months, and I really think I love him. I will admit his brother is the most attractive guy I've ever met in my life. He flirts with me a lot but my boyfriend has never said anything because I think he just trusts us.

I find it extremely difficult to not flirt back, but I really try. Last night I went to their house and my boyfriend had to leave for lacrosse practice, but told me to stay because he would be back. his brother and I were hanging out in his room. We were just laying on his bed talking and laughing, and he was like, "Ok can i just do this?" and before I even got the chance to say what, he kissed me. I should've pulled away, but I was in shock.

He started using tongue and I couldn't stop myself. Long story short, we had unprotected. I think he just assumed I was on the pill and I didn't say anything, but the truth is my boyfriend and I hadn't even done it yet. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't like it. Afterwards, we just sort of cuddled silently. A million thoughts went through my head thinking about what I just did. He asked if I was ok, hugged me, got dressed and kissed me on the forehead and went downstairs. I tried to pull myself together, got dressed, and went to my boyfriend's room. All I could think about was how could i lose my virginity to my boyfriend's brother..especially when my boyfriend had been so patient.

 I felt so awful about that and just needed to forget about it and get my mind off everything so when my boyfriend got home, I told him I was ready…and we did it (protected). I felt even worse afterwards..it didn’t help at all. One of my older friends got me the morning after pill (thank god). When I was leaving, his mom wouldn’t let my boyfriend drive me home because he was apparently too tired, so his brother did. It was incredibly awkward the whole ride there. Out of nowhere he said,
 
“Can I just ask you something?” I nodded and he was like, “Were we safe?” I automatically nodded and said, “Can we please not talk about it?” and he was like, “Damn, was I really that bad?” and I managed to laugh and he dropped me off.

I haven’t cried that much but I’ve just been sad all day. I went to lunch with my boyfriend and I guess somehow he could tell, and he asked if I was having 2nd thoughts about last night but i said no. His brother just texted me asking if i was planning on telling him, and i said idk.

I feel absolutely awful about it but i’d be SO scared to tell him, I’d probably faint. the worst part is i have no idea how he would react.

does anyone have any advice for this type of situation? my head is going to explode.
sorry this was so long





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